It’s All About The Teacher

“When it comes to the quality of a child’s education, it’s all about the teacher.”

In fact, according to an analysis of the world’s top education systems by McKinsey & Company, “Research has shown that of all the controllable factors influencing student achievement, the most important by far is the influence of the classroom teacher.”

An inspiring teacher can turn nothing into something, a negative into a positive. In return, the students talk excitedly about what they learn in class and develop curiosity to learn more about the subject.

In the international stage, the structure of the teaching profession differs from country to country. These countries record top scores year after year in international examinations, putting them in the lead in education quality.

John Merrow, a teacher and education journalist, shares in his book The Influence of Teachers on the importance of the teacher-student relationship and its power to transform individual lives and society as a whole.

Meanwhile, New York Times columnist David Brooks commented, “If I had to summarize the progress we’ve made in education over the last decade, it’s that we’ve moved beyond the illusion that we could restructure our way to a good education system and we’ve finally begun to focus on the core issue: the nature of the relationship between the teacher and the student. People learn from people they love. Anything that enriches the space between a student and a teacher is good. Anything that makes it more frigid is bad…Rigorous instruction has to flow on threads of trust and affection.”

What is Your Parenting Style? (5): Hands-off / Uninvolved Parenting

What are the characteristics of Hands-off / Uninvolved Parenting?

“I have such a headache. Please do the homework on your own or just skip it tonight. After all, it’s been a long day and I know how tired you are.”

Hands-off/uninvolved parenting emphasizes on learning through experience and each person must learn to take care of himself. Hands-off/uninvolved parents give their children the opportunity to learn from mistakes by not sheltering their children. However, sometimes it is difficult to justify whether the hands-off approach is a way to let the children to learn from their own mistakes or let them go about the matter on their own without guidance.

Studies have shown that children growing up in this kind of environment are more likely to develop low self-esteem and noncompliant when it is done in extreme. Children will feel being neglected as hands-off/uninvolved parents will leave them on their own. This can undermine the children’s motivation to do well.

Does the choice you made at that moment make your child happy in the long-term? In five years? In ten years? In twenty years? Does it nurture him into a great person?

Nothing is perfect in this world, especially when it comes to parenting. There is no fix path in the process. Learn to take a little and loose a little as it is an invaluable experience that not only is beneficial to your children but also to your self-development.

Prepare beforehand, learn as you go, evaluate every day.

Which style are you?

• What is Your Parenting Style? (1): An Overview
• What is Your Parenting Style? (2): Permissive Parenting
• What is Your Parenting Style? (3): Authoritarian Parenting
• What is Your Parenting Style? (4): Authoritative Parenting

What is Your Parenting Style? (4): Authoritative Parenting

What are the characteristics of Authoritative Parenting?

“I understand you don’t want to go and I know that feeling of not doing something you don’t want to, but that’s precisely why I want you to go. Sometimes, we have an urge to avoid tough stuff, but it’s important to do things even when they’re hard.”

Authoritative parenting emphasizes on “discipline through rational and issue-oriented strategies in order to promote children’s autonomy while ensuring conformity to group standards” in areas of academic, social emotional and behavioural. Authoritative parents make it clear on the appropriate limits and standards but at the same time, they encourage mutual understanding and forgiveness.

Studies have shown that children growing up in this kind of environment are more likely to develop successful peer relationships, balance between control and independence, social competence, self-assured, high self-esteem, positive self-concept, greater self-worth, lesser rebellion and more successful life.

There is a strong correlation between authoritative parenting and good grades as parents are actively involved in their children’ education with open, give-and-take communication in the family.

Does the choice you made at that moment make your child happy in the long-term? In five years? In ten years? In twenty years? Does it nurture him into a great person?

Nothing is perfect in this world, especially when it comes to parenting. There is no fix path in the process. Learn to take a little and loose a little as it is an invaluable experience that not only is beneficial to your children but also to your self-development.

Prepare beforehand, learn as you go, evaluate every day.

Which style are you?

• What is Your Parenting Style? (1): An Overview
• What is Your Parenting Style? (2): Permissive Parenting
• What is Your Parenting Style? (3): Authoritarian Parenting
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (5): Hands-off or Uninvolved Parenting

What is Your Parenting Style? (3): Authoritarian Parenting

What are the characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting?

“Ground them for talking back to you and questioning your judgment.”

Authoritarian parenting emphasizes on strict discipline and obedience. When parents demand absolute obedience from their children, children will grow up into a passive person as they obey their parents out of avoidance and fear of punishment. When they grow into teenagers, they will start to question and rebel against their parents’ values and belief systems, hence, contributing to unhappy family.

Studies have shown that children growing up in this kind of environment are more likely to develop antisocial peer pressure, lesser self-reliant, lower self-esteem, lower social competence, lesser intellectual curiosity and lesser spontaneous. The strong correlation between authoritarian parenting and good grades may reveal that the children focus on obtaining good grades to avoid punishment.

A right amount of discipline training is beneficial for the children’s development but overly indulging in strict discipline will only bring more harm than good to the children as these children will lose the freedom of self-expression which is vital in developing independence and social competence.

Does the choice you made at that moment make your child happy in the long-term? In five years? In ten years? In twenty years? Does it nurture him into a great person?

Nothing is perfect in this world, especially when it comes to parenting. There is no fix path in the process. Learn to take a little and loose a little as it is an invaluable experience that not only is beneficial to your children but also to your self-development.

Prepare beforehand, learn as you go, evaluate every day.

Which style are you?

• What is Your Parenting Style? (1): An Overview
• What is Your Parenting Style? (2): Permissive Parenting
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (4): Authoritative Parenting
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (5): Hands-off or uninvolved Parenting

What is Your Parenting Style? (2): Permissive Parenting

What are the characteristics of Permissive Parenting?

“’OK, you’ve been such a good boy, you deserve a cookie,’ – when your child seems to have his heart set and after all, it’s only one cookie.”

Permissive parenting emphasizes on indulging in children’s every wish. When parents give in to their children’s wishes, children learn how to get their way by manipulating others in order to get what they want. Overtime, they will turn into someone who is inconsiderate of others.

Studies have shown that children growing up in this kind of environment are more likely to develop psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, delinquency, impatient, insecurity and antisocial behaviour as they were not taught on self-control, discipline and self-respect. There is also a strong correlation between permissive parenting and poor grades.

Despite the above negative lights, permissive parents do show great affection for their children. The matters to ponder on are the limit of the affection and the long-term consequences of parenting choices.

Does the choice you made at that moment make your child happy in the long-term? In five years? In ten years? In twenty years? Does it nurture him into a great person?

Nothing is perfect in this world, especially when it comes to parenting. There is no fix path in the process. Learn to take a little and loose a little as it is an invaluable experience that not only is beneficial to your children but also to your self-development.

Prepare beforehand, learn as you go, evaluate every day.

Which style are you?

• What is Your Parenting Style? (1): An Overview
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (3): Authoritarian Parenting
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (4): Authoritative Parenting
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (5): Hands-off or Uninvolved Parenting

What is Your Parenting Style? (1): An Overview

Will your parenting style influence your child’s development?

Parenting is like a Chinese bamboo.

“Once the seed has been sown, you see nothing for about five years, apart from a tiny shoot. All the growth takes place underground, where a complex root system reaching upward and outward is being established. Then, at the end of the fifth year, the bamboo suddenly shoots up to a height of twenty-five meters.”

– extracted from Aleph by Paulo Coelho

Although parenting is a challenging field, it can be very rewarding in experience and self-development.

It can make you see things in a different way when it comes to considering what is best for your child. The style you adopt in raising your child will influence him either positively, negatively or both in terms of psychological and behavioural aspects.

Furthermore, studies have found a correlation between parenting styles and school competence, delinquency, violence, sexual activity, antisocial behaviour, alcohol and substance abuse, depression, anxiety, and self-perception.

In the early 1960s, Baumrind studied parenting styles and concluded these four important areas:

1. Parents’ warmth or nurturance
2. Discipline strategy
3. Communication skills
4. Expectations of maturity

and three parenting styles:

1. Permissive
2. Authoritarian
3. Authoritative

On the other hand, studies at a later date have revealed another parenting style on top of the three styles above: Hands-off or uninvolved parenting.

Despite the categorization of parenting styles, many parents appear to adopt a combination of several styles. Nevertheless, this shall not be viewed as a problem, as long as parents remain flexible in deciding the best practices for the best of their children.

In the following articles of the month, we will share more details on each of the parenting styles.

Which style are you?

• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (2): Permissive Parenting
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (3): Authoritarian Parenting
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (4): Authoritative Parenting
• Whatis Your Parenting Style? (5): Hands-off or uninvolved Parenting

How Important Is Freedom of Expression in Children?

Does writing for being graded put a barrier to our freedom of expression and learning?

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Here’s a summary of what Katrina Schwartz shared in How Visual Thinking Improves Writing:

When teachers from Oak Knoll Elementary School in Menlo Park, Calif. asked their students to keep a notebook that combines words and drawings – taking inspiration from the popular children’s book series Amelia’s Notebook, - here is the insight they have found.

“They’re not used to being given permission to write about whatever they want,” Karen Clancy, a teacher from Oak Knoll Elementary School in Menlo Park, Calif. said.

Once her students knew that they were given the freedom of expression to write and draw without being graded, they have asked for more time to write.

Samples of Amelia’s Notebook

According to the author of Amelia’s Notebook, Marissa Moss, “writing without fear of consequences is key to developing a writer’s voice.” Moss also pointed out that developing a distinct voice in children is one of the hardest things to teach.

“If you’re perfect you are guaranteed to not write a thing. It’s like driving with one foot on the gas and one foot on the break,” Moss said, whose books combine the power of words and drawings to express Amelia’s ideas about the world.

Since this notebook project – Lifebook Journals – has been initiated, the teachers at Oak Knoll have seen a dramatic improvement in the students’ choice of word, voice and sentence fluency, and their motivation to write.

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Besides developing a voice in children, freedom of expression helps to develop critical thinking skills and a love for reading too.

On the other hand, cutting out the freedom of expression in children will hinder the development of their distinct voice. Over time, they may grow into a person with low confidence and fear, which is not a good thing for their social and soul development.

Hence, we ought to give our children the freedom of expression so as they will be able to experience a positive development of their body, mind, social and soul.

Happy Family, Dynamic Future (3)

A child growing up in a happy family will strive in their life. A happy family does not mean living in luxury, nor does it measured by material gains.

According to the Family Action Centre at the University of Newcastle, there are eight main characteristics that keep families together:

1. Communication
2. Togetherness
3. Sharing activities
4. Affection
5. Support
6. Acceptance
7. Commitment
8. Resilience

To build a happy family, practicing those eight main characteristics alone may not be sufficient. We have to look into the common traits of dysfunctional families too lest that we fall into the trap.

What are the common traits of dysfunctional families then that could lead to unhappy childhood environment?

Further reading:

• Happy Family, Dynamic Future (1)
• Happy Family, Dynamic Future (2)

Happy Family, Dynamic Future (2)

A child growing up in a happy family will strive in their life. A happy family does not mean living in luxury, nor does it measured by material gains.

According to the Family Action Centre at the University of Newcastle, there are eight main characteristics that keep families together:

  

What can we do to enhance the 8 main characteristics of a happy family?

Further reading:

• Happy Family, Dynamic Future (1)
• Happy Family, Dynamic Future (3)

Happy Family, Dynamic Future (1)

A child growing up in a happy family will strive in their life. A happy family does not mean living in luxury, nor does it measured by material gains.

Here is an excerpt from George Negus Tonight : : Health : : Happy Families (View full transcript here).

SHELLY HORTON, REPORTER: Research shows children from unhappy families have lower self-esteem and higher levels of behavioural problems. And those children learn yelling is a legitimate way of solving problems. Further down the track they may repeat the pattern and become abusive parents themselves. It's easy for a happy family to unravel and focus on nasty remarks and petty arguments. And research shows that if you look for family problems, you'll find them alright. But if you focus on what's working in your family you can use that strength to overcome other issues. So what makes one family pull together in a crisis while others pull apart? To find out, the Family Action Centre at the University of Newcastle did a nationwide study looking at families who considered themselves as strong and happy. They discovered eight main characteristics that keep families together: communication, togetherness, sharing activities, affection, support, acceptance, commitment and resilience. SIMONE SILBERBERG, PSYCHOLOGIST, UNIVERSITY OF NEWCASTLE: They all contribute to a family's resilience, which is a term that we use to describe the family's ability to bounce back from setbacks and crises, and their ability to change and to adapt to circumstances. I'd like you to think about what strengths you use...

What can we do to enhance the 8 main characteristics of a happy family?

The suggestions will be revealed in the next post. Stay tuned!

• Happy Family, Dynamic Future (2)
• Happy Family, Dynamic Future (3)

Teaching Your Child to Care for the Elders

This 10 October 2013 is World Mental Health Day, an initiative of the World Federation of Mental Health and the World Health Organization (WHO) to raise awareness on mental health issues via its strong relationships with the Ministries of health and civil society organizations across the globe. This year, the theme centres on “Mental health and older adults”.

How can we include the grandchildren in caring for their grandparents?

Here are some suggestions that you can opt for:

1. Weekly family time

Arrange a time to have a little family gathering on a weekly basis. Some of the activities that can be arranged are having a meal, watching television or movie, or playing puzzles together.

2. Reading

Let your child read to the elders. It can be from a favourite book or even engage in a role play.

3. Travel

Have a vacation with the family once a while. This experience can provide a quality time for both the grandparents and the grandchildren, and strengthen their relationship.

4. Hug

Hugging is beneficial to health. It helps to reduce stress and anxiety, and improve memory. It also teaches your child on how to give and take. According to Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”

These activities create a quality time for the whole family (3 generations) and teach the children to cherish family relationships. Nurture the children as early as possible in caring for the elderly so as the value will be ingrained into their heart.